Islam and Ego by Nouman Ali Khan

Speaker:  Br. Nouman Ali Khan

1) Remember Allah (swt)

• Don’t do thoughtless Dhikr, contemplate, don’t just say without thinking. For example, say Alhamdullilah, MashaAllah and ShukarAlhamdulilah during your day when it has meaning and basis that you can appreciate.
• Learn to be Uncomfortable with Praise: If someone praises you, just bring it back to Allah (swt). Say to the other person, I don’t need your praise – I just need your dua. Don’t praise me. Put yourself down and bring light to the truth, the Creator of All things – Allah (swt) and His Will. When someone praises you, it hurts you because it boosts your EGO. So tell others to stop praising you.
• When someone is condensing towards you and is real nasty to you it’s a good way to put down your EGO – so they may have been doing you a favour. Think about it. This may inshallah be a gift from Allah (swt) the gift of Humility.
• Learn to Serve people – for the Sake of Allah (swt)
• Keep things gradual – don’t burn yourself out.
• If you do things for Allah (swt) and you seem frustrated when you don’t see results (from your work, MSA, Masjid, etc.) then change your attitude and change your intention – You won’t be frustrated because you put your expectations with Allah (swt). You’re not in charge of results – that’s all up to Allah (swt). So even if you put in a lot of work passing out flyers and no one shows up you may be frustrated…but don’t be, don’t internalize this frustration – Allah (swt) takes care of all things. Be happy that you’re not the one in charge of results. Just do your part with the right attitude and intention and seriousness. And you become satisfied with yourself.

2) Find better company - find company of people better than yourself so you be surrounded with those best in character and so you may learn something.

  

3) Keep your mouth shut – If you see something really bad, find a humble way of giving advice to a muslim. Find a loving soft way to pull people into Islam. Don’t change their behaviour first, change their heart.  Most time we go after people’s behaviours. Their hearts must change first and then their behaviour. It’s your job to just remind and make dua to Allah (swt), not to go after another persons’ behaviour. The first person to benefit from a sincere reminder is the one who gives a sincere reminder.

• Be patient. Prophet Muhammad (saws) reminded people for over 10 years.
• You may never see benefit but it benefits.
• The words are coming from you and the effect is coming from Allah (swt). If your words are not affecting others then there’s probably something wrong with you. Look to yourself first. Don’t worry about results – just do what you’re supposed to do.

On Knowledge

People turn knowledge into a means to inflate their ego – because they wanted to dominate others. This deen is for those who are humble.

On Sincerity

• If you are in a position of Leadership how do you give counsel to someone – especially if they are muslim?
• Learn to be tolerant. Do not justify wrong behaviour – but remember to be nice about your speech, be SINCERE.  Sincerity shows. There is a difference – are you someone who is not nice in your speech and you put others down, or do you show sincerity – where you are humble in your actions and you bring yourself to humble level.
• How do you know if you are sincere? After an incident when someone hurt’s you by their words or actions you 1) Forgive them 2) Ask Allah (swt) to forgive them (all in private). The private dua is sincere.
• How to also be sincere: Treat everyone decently by respecting and listening to their views – take their opinion if beneficial, just talk to them. Consult them so they feel dignified. Prophet Muhammad (saws) didn’t need to consult for decisions because he got revelation and then could make decisions, but he still consulted others to make them feel included. To make them feel dignified.

Allah (swt) is the key to success. Place your decisions in trust with Allah (swt).
 

When it comes to putting in effort:
 

Bad:I’m going to make the best effort possible and the results are in my hands.I’m going to make no effort and the results are in Allah (swt) hands.
 

Best:I’m going to make the best effort and the results are in Allah(swt) hands.
 

Source: http://faithworksforever.wordpress.com/2010/04/10/how-to-clean-your-heart-and-arrogance/